so
some of my friends are 4-7 years older than i am: young enough so that it’s not very creepy, but old enough that they’re constantly making references to things just barely before my time, things that maybe i remember vaguely from my toddler years, but are firmly entrenched in their childhood memories. old school nickelodeon shows are probably the best example. i remember loving salute your shorts, but i can’t name one character. was one named danny? i remember artie, the strongest man in the world from pete and pete, but i can’t remember one thing he did. i also remember a conversation i had when i was sixteen, with the guy i made out with sometimes who was just a little too old for me. he mentioned pepsi clear, with his seemingly constant standard disclaimer, “but that was before you were born.” i got self-righteous and pissy and told him to stop being so condescending and annoying and maybe i don’t remember it very well but it’s not like it ended before i was born, you are only six years older than i am and that’s really not that much in the grand scheme of things, so stop acting so wise. then he mentioned that it actually was before my time. it got discontinued in 1990, and i was born in ‘91.
that’s what i feel like hipsterdom is like. a bunch of manufactured nostalgia and “memories” of times you maybe didn’t experience at all.
that feeling of being mentally, but not physically, older than i am is one of the reasons i have such difficulty making friends sometimes. i was the only third grader i knew who listened to david bowie.
